There are so many things I can’t look at, or even try to think about, or hear about. Without all my memories flooding back… I can barely function now as there are so many taboo subjects.
I can’t look at dogs, or animals. I can’t hear the word or even have anything to do with soccer, computers, iPhones, Ralph Lauren, cuff links, for gods’ sake I can’t even look at Garnier products. I can’t even go to Macquarie centre, Hornsby… I can’t eat japanese curry, I can’t eat gyoza, shanghai food, I can’t go to Chatswood Chase, I can’t go near an oval/park, I can’t bear it when i see the motion of someone shrugging, Subaru cars.
Everywhere I turn, everywhere i look, there are traces everywhere. I’m told I can’t be friends, till I move on. Only then, can we even ‘try’, which means that he doesn’t even want to know i’m still around.
As I am no longer of any worth, or any value to anybody.
I guess the only moving on means i have to leave this existence.
If you are my friends, let me go. Give me the courage to make my move to die, because i’m too chicken to even do it.
